Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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