You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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