if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
