I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
