if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
