handjob tips. give me some.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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