Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
