If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Randomize
