is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think your dad took our porno
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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