My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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