this just has baby written all over it
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
