you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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