I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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