so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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