You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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