who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Please, let me fuck your mom
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
