Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
