You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
