Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
