you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
