I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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