No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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