You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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