So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
