She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
