My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
