she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
