I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just cut my nipple shaving
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
