ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i was born a porn star she said
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
