I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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