I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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