Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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