how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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