I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
