Only a mothe r could love this liver
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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