By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
