Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Drunk walkin through police station. America
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
