why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
