She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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