this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
