You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
