so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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