So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
