i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
