i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
