im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
