she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
