my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
