YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Someone shit on the floor
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
