We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We had sex on a dog bed..
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
