at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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