dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
