I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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