First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
