how can u be prego again
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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